Job searching, is humiliating. Let face it if you work to get the credentials for one job by the time you get there that job is not offered anymore. All you have done is wasted time. Like taking the time to re-write your resume for job descriptions that no one is even going to read, waste of time and frustrating. The job descriptions I have seen lately are ridiculously specific and almost seem like arbitrary qualifications. For example requirements might be something like, math wizard with the ability to roller-skate on one foot and experience in doing so for at least 12 years.
I saw a job description like that about a month ago and I thought it must have been a miracle because it was describing my exact qualifications...Bachelors degree in social science with a license for phlebotomy. Who else could possibly have those two things? They are mismatched and weird and I was qualified. It felt good applying for a job that I seemed to match me so perfectly, almost like fate. The job itself seemed interesting and challenging and fabulous. I was so excited. I was sure they would see my resume and be blown away at what a good match I was for the job.
I was called for a job interview. I did everything right, I wore my most boring and uncomfortable clothes, I came in 10 min early, I didn't say anything when they kept me waiting for 35 min. My first interviewer was nice and we seemed to have somethings in common. A second woman came in and asked me a few blunt questions she cut me off and then left. I said nothing. I could have answered some questions better but I was nervous. Then I left, I wrote thank you notes and I brought over those notes along with a list of references the next day.
Interviews are so humiliating. You meet a person for the first time and they get to say and ask you whatever they what. In no other social situation is this acceptable. They look you over to see if your shoes are shinny and your nails are polished. Is your hair well conditioned and your suit a good fit. A person, rejected again and again starts to question everything about herself.
The next thing I know the job is closed...they hired no one. Was I that bad that they would rather have no one than work with me? Obsessively going through the interview in my head, no wonder, I came off like a total duffus. I am stupid. I am fat, they must think that my fatness is a sign that I have no self control. Maybe they think I'm gross or like being fat means I am really messy and disorganized. Did I tell them I am a mom? I got too personal, they know that I have other obligations, every interview informational says do not mention you are a mom. Maybe I asked for too much money. Maybe I'm too old. Maybe I've been out of the job market for too long, etc.
I heard a man on NPR yesterday. It was about joblessness in America. He, in his 40's was a bank manager before the economic collapse. He has run out of severance money and gone through all of his contacts. He is being ostracized for his need. Need is so unattractive. I found myself thinking about all the reasons he might be unemployable. Maybe he is annoying... maybe he was a mean boss... managers? they don't really know how to run anything they just have to know someone who does. I had to think about all the reasons this situation could not happen to me. The truth is he probably worked hard to get to that managers position. He may have even been able to run the bank himself. He was probably a nice boss, he sounded nice. He was probably devoted to his bank and maybe even made personal life choices based on what was best for the job. He is us...He is me.
On a side note their has to be a way where we can make job interviews less humiliating and cut out the stupid questions. No way anyone who has ever interviewed me has any idea about who I am based on the stupid questions they ask me. How about a revolution in Human Resources lets get some conversations going about who we really are.
Is it a questions of motivation or time?
I had two career events scheduled this week. I had time for both, small windows of time when my daughter is in school but time nevertheless. I didn't go to either of them. I missed one because I wanted to play racket-ball with my husband and this window of time was the only one we could find. I missed the next one because I had a thing at work. I feel really flaky and bad about it but really, I don't regret it. I just didn't have the time. If I am always putting my family/health/relationships first does that mean their is no time for anything else? I can be so good at organizing most things but my career seems to elude me.
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