Introductions please...

I am starting this blog because I don’t know what else to do (more on that later).  I must first apologize if I become rambly and incoherent.  I am often the only one in the room who understands what I am talking about and unfortunately my writing can become a stream of consciousness.  I will do my best to keep my thoughts organized.  Especially because I know that its not possible that I am the only one who feels the way I do, although it often feels like it.

As early as I can remember I have been jealous of those people who knew exactly what they want to do.

I knew very few things about my self growing up, things to help me make the decisions about what I could do with my life.  Things people told me that I knew for sure:

·         I’m lazy

·         Not college material

·         Not pretty

·         Not smart

·         Should work harder at cleaning (possible future)

·         Creative

·         Average

I found I did have a talent for not being seen.  I am really comfortable there, as invisible woman.   In college I was told that I lack direction, shocking revelation.  I also know that I am equally good or not good at almost everything.  Every personally test I have ever taken tells me I am equally skilled in almost everything but not great at anything. I might as well have an invisible personality as well.

What you do is important right? At every party I have ever been to people say, ‘hi nice to meet you, what do you do?’ What do I do? I do lots of things. I am a few things nothing very impressive.  I feel like the United States of America.  If a person is from Peru she can say I am Peruvian.  The same is true of Canada (Canadian).  But a person from the U.S. cannot say I’m American-it doesn’t mean the same thing-They could be South American, Central American, Mexican, or Canadian for example.  A person can’t say I’m United Statesian it gets more complicated.  A person could say, ‘I’m from’ but ‘not I am’.  That’s like me, I am from many experiences but I am…..something but I’m not sure what and I certainly can’t put it in one word although I would really like to.

So if you are wondering, what the point of this blog is here it is….finally.  How do you decide who you are?  What is the relationship between what you do and who you are? Why is it so intertwined? This is the record of me trying to figure out who I am and what to do.  I will be asking people how they decided to do what they do, going to lots of workshops, taking personality tests, and letting you know about my experiences and thoughts.  I will keep you up to date while trying to figure out who I am and how I can make a living being me.